(Witnee) According to Oxford Languages, misogyny is defined as “a feeling of hate or dislike towards women, or a feeling that women are not as good as men.” Throughout history, women have faced an unimaginable amount of misogyny and mistreatment from men. Whether it was about the right to vote or equal pay, many women have faced some form of misogynistic treatment throughout their lives. Although there has been a positive change towards more awareness about this behavior, I would argue that misogyny has been on the rise.
In any STEM field, women have faced extreme pushback. More specifically, during the Artemis II launch, many online comments spread hate about Christnan Koch for being the first woman to go the furthest in space. A TikTok posted by the user “mae.the.angel” condemns these issues, showing several conceding comments made by other users. One user, Orin Richardson, states, “Her husband is still waiting for his sandwich.” The video shows many other users sharing this same belief about a woman going to space.
Throughout my young adult life, it seems that many male-presenting people have shut me down. I am not stating that I believe all men are bad or that all men should be obliterated. I have witnessed a high rise in misogynistic things said towards women. Whether it’s intentional, by calling them names like “fatherless” or a “hoe,” or being subconsciously misogynistic in ways that feel less noticeable, it all makes an impact. Oftentimes, this behavior is either enabled or ignored.
Whether it’s in class, extracurriculars, or jobs, each woman most likely has a story of when they felt uncomfortable, dumb or less than because of a man. I can recall several times when boys in my class acted as if they either knew more or were smarter than everyone else. This behavior can be seen in young women as well, but it seems more common among young men.
(Naima) Often, misogyny isn’t as obvious as someone saying, “I think women are less good/worthy/intelligent / etc. than men.” It can be subtle enough that people don’t realize it’s even happening. From my own experience in speech and debate, I’ve noticed female debaters often receive feedback about being “mean” or “aggressive” disproportionately to male debaters, even when speaking assertively. Women are subject to the stereotype of being soft, demure and always putting others’ feelings at the forefront of our consciousness during conversation. However, men are allowed, and even encouraged, to speak out and stand up for themselves. This societal standard is a large reason why many women don’t speak up, and why they are often doubted if they do. A “mean,” “loud,” “aggressive” woman couldn’t possibly be a victim, or trustworthy, right?
Misogyny isn’t just a problem among males, but it’s also a tool used to pit women against each other. In recent years, the terms “trad wife” and “pick-me girl” have circulated immensely around the internet. These terms describe caricatures of different types of women.
The “pick-me girl” is a girl who is desperate for male validation and views other girls as competition. She often mocks feminine hobbies like doing her makeup or hair and picking cute outfits, while bolstering her own masculine hobbies and traits, like keeping her face bare, playing sports and not caring about her clothes. She often uses stereotypes about women to separate herself from other women. Popular phrases that characterize so-called “pick-me girls” are “I’m not like other girls,” and “girls are so dramatic, I prefer hanging out with the boys.”
The “pick-me” is problematic for two reasons. Firstly, girls who are actual “pick-me’s” are inherently misogynistic, perpetuating stereotypes of women as being dramatic or vain, and shaming women for having traditionally female hobbies. At its core, “pick-me” girls are deeply insecure, often projecting negative views that were said to them about being a girl and being perceived as girly. These girls don’t let themselves engage with classic femininity even if they are interested in it.
The second problem of the “pick-me” stereotype is that girls can be accused of being one for almost any reason. More comfortable girls being less traditionally feminine-presenting are accused of doing so to be “not like other girls” or for the sole purpose of male validation.
Ultimately, the “pick-me” is a male-centered stereotype used to pit women against each other and devalue feminism. Misogyny perpetuates when girls don’t stick together and work toward the ultimate goal of equal treatment and respect. These stereotypes prevent women from just being themselves and presenting themselves in ways that make them comfortable.
Unlike the “pick-me,” who condemns most things that are traditionally feminine, the “trad wife” is the complete opposite. The “trad wife” is the classic stay-at-home mother character who cooks, cleans, raises the children and relies on her husband for financial stability. Much of the discourse around the “trad wife” revolves around perpetuating the patriarchy. Famous TikTok trad wives such as Nara Smith are viewed as “anti-feminist” by women’s rights advocates for promoting extremely rigid, traditional gender roles.
Feminists and suffragettes have long fought for women to have equal rights to men. However, at the end of the day, men have always been allowed to choose their careers without facing the same levels of disrespect as women. The trad wife is accused of being antifeminist, regardless of her actual views. I believe feminism is the right to choose. Whether a woman wants to be a traditional housewife or a CEO, she should be respected either way.
(Malija) These stereotypes are exceptionally harmful because they create a bigger divide between “man” and “woman,” labelling the same traits that are praised in men as “unwomanly” and “disgraceful” on women. Not only does this create a desirable set of traits that society pushes women to adhere to, but it also marginalizes the women who don’t.
Growing up, I felt very out of place with the other women at my school. My dad took me to college basketball games at his alma mater multiple nights a week, and basketball was the only thing I could think about. In fact, I had so much fun at those games that I decided to try out basketball camp, then soccer camp, then the junior baseball team… and despite the camps being open to all genders, the male-to-female ratio was rough. Which, unfortunately, reinforced the fact that sports have historically been a male-dominated field, and instead of praising the women who dare to make their mark, society deems them unfeminine. Even if you Google “sporty person,” the first ten images that show up are captioned “sporty man.”
In a way, misogyny in sports may seem invisible. For the most part, men, women and all genders alike are aware that a woman can pick up a ball and throw it into a hoop. Yet years and years of misogyny and sexist stereotypes divide the court. By exhibiting a trait stereotyped as “masculine,” it didn’t just separate me from the girls at my school; it separated femininity from sports as a whole. Because I couldn’t change who I was, I stopped associating myself with “femininity” and began distancing myself from the term “woman.”
Fifth-grade Malija decided that femininity was Cinderella and makeup. While masculinity was basketball and tag at recess, and if her playing basketball made her less of a woman, so be it. As a result, I’d have a hard time embracing anything that felt remotely feminine, even if it was something I liked about myself. I resented my femininity because I didn’t think I could be an ideal classically feminine woman, so I coped by steering clear of anything that’d make me feel girly or delicate.
Only in recent years have I realized that I can embrace the feminine side of me without being “weaker” or less than. My turning point was the 2022 Winter Olympics, when 17-year-old Alexandra Trusova landed a record-breaking five quads and secured the silver medal. Her technical score was so high that not only could Trusova compete with the men, she could rival them. Her routine followed the soundtrack from the Disney film Cruella, packed with electric guitars and dramatic rock and roll.
Not only does Trusova defy the feminine figure-skating stereotype of “the ice princess,” but she also embraces the villainess personality of Cruella De Vil. Furthermore, the “De Vil” persona is a direct testament to misogyny; in a world where men have been seen as “more powerful”, it’s refreshing to see the rebel who turns the world upside down outsmart the men and embrace femininity.
Femininity is not just “trad wives” and short skirts, it is strength, body hair, confidence, passion, rebellion… It’s whatever a woman wants to be. Misogyny is not the fault of the women who dare to be different nor the women who adhere to traditionally feminine roles; it is the fault of the men and women who view specific traits as “unfeminine” and put other women down because of them. Only when we stop defining women by judgments and stereotypes will equality be in reach.
